How to successfully engage your teenager to get him/her to
talk to you and ,in addition feel free to see you as a confidant.
Most teenagers are secretive in their doings. They could be so
for some reasons better known to them.
But as a parent you must ensure that you break that silence
the moment it becomes so unbearable to you.
It really should be so because you and you teenage child need
to always maintain some form of communication before things
go wrong with him/her to the extent of contemplating suicide
if he/she is not find things around him/her comfortable any
more.
You can successfully engage your teenage to get him/her to
talk to you by first creating the necessary atmosphere which
is free of stress and tension.
The creation of such environment will make the child lower his/
her guard and see you as a friend with whom he/she could
discuss whatsoever may be agitating his/her mind and even
possibly get a solution to his problems in confidence.
Eat together in an eatery away from the common sight of the
home environment which may remind him of the 'slave-master'
relationship with which he/she has come to associate the
house with since he /she was a toddler.
The two of you could playfully engage in a sporting activity
which he/she is interested in. Remember, the atmosphere must
be cordial in all respect for you to get the good result you
desire from the exercise which is to get your teenager to talk
to you.
Avoid a third party whenever you choose to engage your
teenager in any talk .This is because the involvement of the
third party would make him/her feel 'caged’, which will make
you lose the opportunity to get to talk to him/her again.
Allow for free flow of thought anytime he/she decides to talk
to you. For once choose not to hear his/her manner of
speaking and all other gesticulations that come with.
Don't caution!
Remember this is meant to be a free- time when everybody
is free to say things as he/she feels.
Happy Parenting.
Kazeem.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Ways To Make Your Parent Understand You Better
Picture this scenario……
Tim has always seen his parents as his worst enemies and on several occasions in the past he had even left home to hang out in the homes of his many friends.
Up until this moment Tim is nowhere near his home and his parents have been worried dead thinking about him always-this has really troubled his mother that she has developed ulcer.
Now, think about it again. Aren’t we all like Tim? Don’t we feel like throwing our parents over the window into the garden, or even over the roof at time because of what we considered to be their hardstand on issues involving us most of the time?
Is there no solution to this matter at all? Must we continue to live like this with our parents forever?
There are solutions for sure…
As a matter of fact, l have about nine of such sure ways by which the matter of understanding could be brought about by the children on one part and parents on another part.
I am confident that if the teenagers could just take the following nine sure steps to make their parents understand them things will definitely work out for good.
1.Talk from your heart and make sure you speak sincerely with them. Don’t hide your feelings at all. It is better to let them know how you truly feel about them. Do this with due respect for their position as parents, and never be rude in anyway no matter the circumstance.
2. Don’t ever stay away from your parents. True, we all feel 'Pissed off by our parents’ attitudes at times. However, this does not call for any ‘run-away’ solution.
3. Don’t see your parents like they are deliberately trying to treat you like the little child you were many years ago even though you are now a’ small adult’- a teenager.
4. Parents are such grown ups that they will not see things your own way easily. So, whatever the problem is, don’t expect them to immediately see thing from your own perspective. It will take some efforts to convince them.
5.You must try, as much as humanly possible, to get hold of your emotions. If not, you may say things you never wanted to say and regret it later.
6.Stick to the issue being discussed and never deviate. The natural tendency is for you to be tempted to say:” After all, everybody else does it!” But pity! You aren’t everybody. You are their child for whom they have a responsibility.
7.When your parents say ‘no’ it does not mean they do not understand you. They may just speak like that in order to forestall possible crises…. Or even disaster. Please, reason with them, or gently and genuinely ask them why they are refusing your request.
8.Accusing your parents of insensitivity when in conflict is a wrong way to go about the matter .Do not attempt to accuse them in order to make them feel guilty and make you have your way.
9.Make friend with people of your parents’ age.Why? Well, through such friendship you will learn their wisdom and this will surely grant you the needed understanding to open up necessary conversation with your own parents without feeling any inhibitions whatsoever.
There you are…… nine main ingredients… well laid out!
No
Confusion, no ambiguities. Clear cut! Make use of each of them as at when needed and see how it woks like magic.
Cheers to a happy relationship as a happy family!
Happy parenting.
Kazeem
Tim has always seen his parents as his worst enemies and on several occasions in the past he had even left home to hang out in the homes of his many friends.
Up until this moment Tim is nowhere near his home and his parents have been worried dead thinking about him always-this has really troubled his mother that she has developed ulcer.
Now, think about it again. Aren’t we all like Tim? Don’t we feel like throwing our parents over the window into the garden, or even over the roof at time because of what we considered to be their hardstand on issues involving us most of the time?
Is there no solution to this matter at all? Must we continue to live like this with our parents forever?
There are solutions for sure…
As a matter of fact, l have about nine of such sure ways by which the matter of understanding could be brought about by the children on one part and parents on another part.
I am confident that if the teenagers could just take the following nine sure steps to make their parents understand them things will definitely work out for good.
1.Talk from your heart and make sure you speak sincerely with them. Don’t hide your feelings at all. It is better to let them know how you truly feel about them. Do this with due respect for their position as parents, and never be rude in anyway no matter the circumstance.
2. Don’t ever stay away from your parents. True, we all feel 'Pissed off by our parents’ attitudes at times. However, this does not call for any ‘run-away’ solution.
3. Don’t see your parents like they are deliberately trying to treat you like the little child you were many years ago even though you are now a’ small adult’- a teenager.
4. Parents are such grown ups that they will not see things your own way easily. So, whatever the problem is, don’t expect them to immediately see thing from your own perspective. It will take some efforts to convince them.
5.You must try, as much as humanly possible, to get hold of your emotions. If not, you may say things you never wanted to say and regret it later.
6.Stick to the issue being discussed and never deviate. The natural tendency is for you to be tempted to say:” After all, everybody else does it!” But pity! You aren’t everybody. You are their child for whom they have a responsibility.
7.When your parents say ‘no’ it does not mean they do not understand you. They may just speak like that in order to forestall possible crises…. Or even disaster. Please, reason with them, or gently and genuinely ask them why they are refusing your request.
8.Accusing your parents of insensitivity when in conflict is a wrong way to go about the matter .Do not attempt to accuse them in order to make them feel guilty and make you have your way.
9.Make friend with people of your parents’ age.Why? Well, through such friendship you will learn their wisdom and this will surely grant you the needed understanding to open up necessary conversation with your own parents without feeling any inhibitions whatsoever.
There you are…… nine main ingredients… well laid out!
No
Confusion, no ambiguities. Clear cut! Make use of each of them as at when needed and see how it woks like magic.
Cheers to a happy relationship as a happy family!
Happy parenting.
Kazeem
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Things to Do For Your Teenager This Year
This is a new year and everyone, especially the teenagers,
would be looking up their parents to do things for them.
As a parent of a teenager, you should now by know that
parenting teenagers would not come easy to you, but as a
human being, you should just strive to the best of your ability.
Now that we are in a new year you should endeavour to do
some things for your teenage child that would make him/her
very happy.
These are some of things that you as a parenting could do to
your teenager this new year:
* Without waiting to be asked, send a new year present to
your teenager. This could be anything worth its salt, not just
the type of thing the teenager would not appreciate.
* Talk to him about what you feel life. Let him understand
that the way he thinks about life may not necessarily be the
real way life truly is.
* Play games with your teenager and in the process engage
him in some discussion about things that are peculiar to
people of his age.
* Be more attentive to what your teenager is doing, saying or
engaging in.
* Carefully study what your teenager does with his free time.
* Be concerned about the type of friends your teenager is going
out with in order to be able to render suitable advice where
necessary.
If you can just do these few things for your teenager this new
year, there is no doubt that your relationship with your
teenager would improve tremendously. And you would be the
better for it as a concerned parent.
Happy Parenting...
Kazeem.
would be looking up their parents to do things for them.
As a parent of a teenager, you should now by know that
parenting teenagers would not come easy to you, but as a
human being, you should just strive to the best of your ability.
Now that we are in a new year you should endeavour to do
some things for your teenage child that would make him/her
very happy.
These are some of things that you as a parenting could do to
your teenager this new year:
* Without waiting to be asked, send a new year present to
your teenager. This could be anything worth its salt, not just
the type of thing the teenager would not appreciate.
* Talk to him about what you feel life. Let him understand
that the way he thinks about life may not necessarily be the
real way life truly is.
* Play games with your teenager and in the process engage
him in some discussion about things that are peculiar to
people of his age.
* Be more attentive to what your teenager is doing, saying or
engaging in.
* Carefully study what your teenager does with his free time.
* Be concerned about the type of friends your teenager is going
out with in order to be able to render suitable advice where
necessary.
If you can just do these few things for your teenager this new
year, there is no doubt that your relationship with your
teenager would improve tremendously. And you would be the
better for it as a concerned parent.
Happy Parenting...
Kazeem.
How To Make Maximum Impact As A Busy Dad
Are you a busy dad?
Is your life anything like this:
Commuting to or from work, business travel,scheduled and
unscheduled meetings and attending to files even as you close
the door behind you in your master bedroom?
Most busy dads hardly have time for their children,they work
so hard that they tend to end up unwittingly denying their children
a valuable time which should have been positively used together as
a family.
Well, you don't need to worry for too long because here you will be
learning how to make maximum impact as a busy dad in the life of
your children.
It is possible to raise the kids you want in the time you have.You
needn't feel anyway guilty with yourself.
Simply follow these steps and see how much impact you would be
making in the life of your kids as a very busy dad:
* Be involved in your kids' schooling - Try attend
the child's"Back-to-School Night" and other activities once in a
while,or even every time since such things don't happen every day.
* Give your child a few minutes to play together,no matter how short,
everyday before leaving home for work.Your kid will definitely
appreciate the few minutes.
* Build relationships with your child's teachers.Teacher appreciate it
and communicate more with parents they have met physically.The
consequence is that your child won't get away with anything because
he will surely be reported.
* Plan a trip with your child.There are always some work-free days that
would involve both you and your child.So, while not plan a short trip
together?You will be glad you did as your child will forever thank you
for it.
* Develop the habit of listening to your child anytime he talks to you.
I don't mean that you should just pretend that you are paying attention
while you are not.Deliberately pay serious attention and let your child
be convince that you are.
These are just a few of the things you can do to make maximum impact
as a busy dad in the life of your children.You need to be fully engaged
in the development of your children regardless of how busy you think
you are.
Take action right now and see how your parenting life will improve for
the better.
Happy Parenting...
Kazeem
Is your life anything like this:
Commuting to or from work, business travel,scheduled and
unscheduled meetings and attending to files even as you close
the door behind you in your master bedroom?
Most busy dads hardly have time for their children,they work
so hard that they tend to end up unwittingly denying their children
a valuable time which should have been positively used together as
a family.
Well, you don't need to worry for too long because here you will be
learning how to make maximum impact as a busy dad in the life of
your children.
It is possible to raise the kids you want in the time you have.You
needn't feel anyway guilty with yourself.
Simply follow these steps and see how much impact you would be
making in the life of your kids as a very busy dad:
* Be involved in your kids' schooling - Try attend
the child's"Back-to-School Night" and other activities once in a
while,or even every time since such things don't happen every day.
* Give your child a few minutes to play together,no matter how short,
everyday before leaving home for work.Your kid will definitely
appreciate the few minutes.
* Build relationships with your child's teachers.Teacher appreciate it
and communicate more with parents they have met physically.The
consequence is that your child won't get away with anything because
he will surely be reported.
* Plan a trip with your child.There are always some work-free days that
would involve both you and your child.So, while not plan a short trip
together?You will be glad you did as your child will forever thank you
for it.
* Develop the habit of listening to your child anytime he talks to you.
I don't mean that you should just pretend that you are paying attention
while you are not.Deliberately pay serious attention and let your child
be convince that you are.
These are just a few of the things you can do to make maximum impact
as a busy dad in the life of your children.You need to be fully engaged
in the development of your children regardless of how busy you think
you are.
Take action right now and see how your parenting life will improve for
the better.
Happy Parenting...
Kazeem
Monday, February 2, 2009
Why You Should Avoid Getting Involved In Your Children’s Minor Squabbles
Your young children are as human just as you are.
Yes, they are born of the same mother...
Yes, they are from the same womb...
Yes, they stay under the same roof...
Perhaps they even share clothes sometimes.
But they are still different individuals who should be
accorded the honour of being able to live their lives
their different ways.
Sibling rivalry is good.
Sibling rivalry,provided it is monitored by the parents,
is the best way to make your children develop fast.The
fact is that whoever of your children that is doing fine will
be seen by the other or others as someone to emulate;
challenged positively and perhaps beat him in his own
game.
It happened to me before.
My immediate elder brother is a very brilliant guy
who shows off among his mates to my envy.I always
see him as a person who should be given a run for his
money.
Therefore, in order to turn the table against him and
make him be the one to envy me,l became more serious
with my area of endowment,drama.
I joined some amateur drama groups and got trained
properly to become a fine actor and writer.
Since he was only good at reading,he became envious
of my ability to write very interesting drama piece
which he was always begging me to give him to read.
My answer was always that he should be patient as l
did not like sharing a work in progress with people
who are not real writers like myself.I'd add that only
writers like me could detect what was wrong with the
story l was writing and perhaps give the right advice.
Our parents did not dabble into our rivalry;the just
kept on watching us.And for this we all grew in our
separate pace;at our different time and in our separate
areas of natural endowments.
Today, we are still the best of friends among my siblings
and my children and his own children too never believed
that we were at a time very bitter rivals who were trying
to excel each other in everything we were doing as very
young boys.
As a parent you should let your children grow up on
their own naturally.With time they will outgrow the
sibling rivalry provided you have never dabbled into
the matter and give support to any of the parties involved.
Happy Parenting...
Kazeem.
Yes, they are born of the same mother...
Yes, they are from the same womb...
Yes, they stay under the same roof...
Perhaps they even share clothes sometimes.
But they are still different individuals who should be
accorded the honour of being able to live their lives
their different ways.
Sibling rivalry is good.
Sibling rivalry,provided it is monitored by the parents,
is the best way to make your children develop fast.The
fact is that whoever of your children that is doing fine will
be seen by the other or others as someone to emulate;
challenged positively and perhaps beat him in his own
game.
It happened to me before.
My immediate elder brother is a very brilliant guy
who shows off among his mates to my envy.I always
see him as a person who should be given a run for his
money.
Therefore, in order to turn the table against him and
make him be the one to envy me,l became more serious
with my area of endowment,drama.
I joined some amateur drama groups and got trained
properly to become a fine actor and writer.
Since he was only good at reading,he became envious
of my ability to write very interesting drama piece
which he was always begging me to give him to read.
My answer was always that he should be patient as l
did not like sharing a work in progress with people
who are not real writers like myself.I'd add that only
writers like me could detect what was wrong with the
story l was writing and perhaps give the right advice.
Our parents did not dabble into our rivalry;the just
kept on watching us.And for this we all grew in our
separate pace;at our different time and in our separate
areas of natural endowments.
Today, we are still the best of friends among my siblings
and my children and his own children too never believed
that we were at a time very bitter rivals who were trying
to excel each other in everything we were doing as very
young boys.
As a parent you should let your children grow up on
their own naturally.With time they will outgrow the
sibling rivalry provided you have never dabbled into
the matter and give support to any of the parties involved.
Happy Parenting...
Kazeem.
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