How to successfully engage your teenager to get him/her to
talk to you and ,in addition feel free to see you as a confidant.
Most teenagers are secretive in their doings. They could be so
for some reasons better known to them.
But as a parent you must ensure that you break that silence
the moment it becomes so unbearable to you.
It really should be so because you and you teenage child need
to always maintain some form of communication before things
go wrong with him/her to the extent of contemplating suicide
if he/she is not find things around him/her comfortable any
more.
You can successfully engage your teenage to get him/her to
talk to you by first creating the necessary atmosphere which
is free of stress and tension.
The creation of such environment will make the child lower his/
her guard and see you as a friend with whom he/she could
discuss whatsoever may be agitating his/her mind and even
possibly get a solution to his problems in confidence.
Eat together in an eatery away from the common sight of the
home environment which may remind him of the 'slave-master'
relationship with which he/she has come to associate the
house with since he /she was a toddler.
The two of you could playfully engage in a sporting activity
which he/she is interested in. Remember, the atmosphere must
be cordial in all respect for you to get the good result you
desire from the exercise which is to get your teenager to talk
to you.
Avoid a third party whenever you choose to engage your
teenager in any talk .This is because the involvement of the
third party would make him/her feel 'caged’, which will make
you lose the opportunity to get to talk to him/her again.
Allow for free flow of thought anytime he/she decides to talk
to you. For once choose not to hear his/her manner of
speaking and all other gesticulations that come with.
Don't caution!
Remember this is meant to be a free- time when everybody
is free to say things as he/she feels.
Happy Parenting.
Kazeem.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Ways To Make Your Parent Understand You Better
Picture this scenario……
Tim has always seen his parents as his worst enemies and on several occasions in the past he had even left home to hang out in the homes of his many friends.
Up until this moment Tim is nowhere near his home and his parents have been worried dead thinking about him always-this has really troubled his mother that she has developed ulcer.
Now, think about it again. Aren’t we all like Tim? Don’t we feel like throwing our parents over the window into the garden, or even over the roof at time because of what we considered to be their hardstand on issues involving us most of the time?
Is there no solution to this matter at all? Must we continue to live like this with our parents forever?
There are solutions for sure…
As a matter of fact, l have about nine of such sure ways by which the matter of understanding could be brought about by the children on one part and parents on another part.
I am confident that if the teenagers could just take the following nine sure steps to make their parents understand them things will definitely work out for good.
1.Talk from your heart and make sure you speak sincerely with them. Don’t hide your feelings at all. It is better to let them know how you truly feel about them. Do this with due respect for their position as parents, and never be rude in anyway no matter the circumstance.
2. Don’t ever stay away from your parents. True, we all feel 'Pissed off by our parents’ attitudes at times. However, this does not call for any ‘run-away’ solution.
3. Don’t see your parents like they are deliberately trying to treat you like the little child you were many years ago even though you are now a’ small adult’- a teenager.
4. Parents are such grown ups that they will not see things your own way easily. So, whatever the problem is, don’t expect them to immediately see thing from your own perspective. It will take some efforts to convince them.
5.You must try, as much as humanly possible, to get hold of your emotions. If not, you may say things you never wanted to say and regret it later.
6.Stick to the issue being discussed and never deviate. The natural tendency is for you to be tempted to say:” After all, everybody else does it!” But pity! You aren’t everybody. You are their child for whom they have a responsibility.
7.When your parents say ‘no’ it does not mean they do not understand you. They may just speak like that in order to forestall possible crises…. Or even disaster. Please, reason with them, or gently and genuinely ask them why they are refusing your request.
8.Accusing your parents of insensitivity when in conflict is a wrong way to go about the matter .Do not attempt to accuse them in order to make them feel guilty and make you have your way.
9.Make friend with people of your parents’ age.Why? Well, through such friendship you will learn their wisdom and this will surely grant you the needed understanding to open up necessary conversation with your own parents without feeling any inhibitions whatsoever.
There you are…… nine main ingredients… well laid out!
No
Confusion, no ambiguities. Clear cut! Make use of each of them as at when needed and see how it woks like magic.
Cheers to a happy relationship as a happy family!
Happy parenting.
Kazeem
Tim has always seen his parents as his worst enemies and on several occasions in the past he had even left home to hang out in the homes of his many friends.
Up until this moment Tim is nowhere near his home and his parents have been worried dead thinking about him always-this has really troubled his mother that she has developed ulcer.
Now, think about it again. Aren’t we all like Tim? Don’t we feel like throwing our parents over the window into the garden, or even over the roof at time because of what we considered to be their hardstand on issues involving us most of the time?
Is there no solution to this matter at all? Must we continue to live like this with our parents forever?
There are solutions for sure…
As a matter of fact, l have about nine of such sure ways by which the matter of understanding could be brought about by the children on one part and parents on another part.
I am confident that if the teenagers could just take the following nine sure steps to make their parents understand them things will definitely work out for good.
1.Talk from your heart and make sure you speak sincerely with them. Don’t hide your feelings at all. It is better to let them know how you truly feel about them. Do this with due respect for their position as parents, and never be rude in anyway no matter the circumstance.
2. Don’t ever stay away from your parents. True, we all feel 'Pissed off by our parents’ attitudes at times. However, this does not call for any ‘run-away’ solution.
3. Don’t see your parents like they are deliberately trying to treat you like the little child you were many years ago even though you are now a’ small adult’- a teenager.
4. Parents are such grown ups that they will not see things your own way easily. So, whatever the problem is, don’t expect them to immediately see thing from your own perspective. It will take some efforts to convince them.
5.You must try, as much as humanly possible, to get hold of your emotions. If not, you may say things you never wanted to say and regret it later.
6.Stick to the issue being discussed and never deviate. The natural tendency is for you to be tempted to say:” After all, everybody else does it!” But pity! You aren’t everybody. You are their child for whom they have a responsibility.
7.When your parents say ‘no’ it does not mean they do not understand you. They may just speak like that in order to forestall possible crises…. Or even disaster. Please, reason with them, or gently and genuinely ask them why they are refusing your request.
8.Accusing your parents of insensitivity when in conflict is a wrong way to go about the matter .Do not attempt to accuse them in order to make them feel guilty and make you have your way.
9.Make friend with people of your parents’ age.Why? Well, through such friendship you will learn their wisdom and this will surely grant you the needed understanding to open up necessary conversation with your own parents without feeling any inhibitions whatsoever.
There you are…… nine main ingredients… well laid out!
No
Confusion, no ambiguities. Clear cut! Make use of each of them as at when needed and see how it woks like magic.
Cheers to a happy relationship as a happy family!
Happy parenting.
Kazeem
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